It's 2 days until Christmas 2009. This year has been particularly hard to get into the spirit of Christmas for a number of reasons.
The first is that your Dad took a job that requires him to live 3hrs away from me for 5 days a week - he only comes home on the weekends. That has left me quite sad and lonely, we have not been apart that much since the day we met.
Secondly, your Aunt H went back into the hospital on the 21st due to complications from her surgery she had in October. I may go down and visit her later today but I have to talk to my boss first.
And the last reason that it doesn't really feel like Christmas is because you are not here. Christmas is a time for children, it's magical. I can't wait to recreate the same magic for you that Grandma and Papa made for me when I was little. I have been trying to keep away from the displays of Christmas ornaments so that I don't linger over the Babies First Christmas ones.
I miss you terribly and I don't even know you yet. In fact, we haven't even started trying to conceive you yet. In my perfect world, you would be here by now... you would have cute little Christmas sleepers and your grandparents would spoil you to death in 2 days. But, the world is not perfect, and although my heart aches when I have to think about waiting for you any longer, it is the right thing to do.
Your Dad wants the world for you, and right now we can't give it to you. Your Dad has been very sick for the last couple of years and we have been working at getting him healthy enough that he can help look after you. There is also so much that he wants you to be able to do and experience in this world and for that reason, we are working on saving some money so that you can participate in anything you want to do. I am very hopeful that early in the new year we will be in a better position to start trying to make you.
In 2009 the world economy has been really bad and many, many people have lost their jobs, including your Grandpa, which is why your Dad had to work so far away. Everyone has high hopes that the recession is over and companies will start to hire new staff in the new year. Dad and I have our fingers and toes crossed that he can find a new job and come home.
We have decided that we will start to try and conceive you in February, hoping that he will find a job soon. Your Dad doesn't want to miss out on any part of your life, even if you are still inside me. He wants to be there for us through the morning sickness and weird food cravings. he wants to be able to run to the store for us at 3 am when I have a sudden craving ketchup chips or bubble-gum ice cream. It is with love in his heart that he is asking to wait and I am trying to oblige, but every month it gets harder and harder.
We both already love you so very much. Happy Christmas 2009 little one, hope to meet you in 2010.
Love,
Mom
