Dear Santa,
How are you? I know it has been a really long time since I last wrote to you, but I hope you understand. You see, I have grown up and there are so many children who need your attention at this time of year to make the season magical. Please believe me when I say that even though I have grown up and stopped writing, I have never stopped believing in you.
I no longer believe that you are a jolly fat man in a red suit who flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents, but I still believe. There is a magic at Christmas time. Santa, you are that magic. There is a magic that makes parents go to great lengths just to make their children happy. During the World Wars, the fighting stopped on Christmas day! It takes a very powerful magic to stop war.
I am writing to you this year Santa, because I need a little bit of your Christmas magic this year. My husband and I have been trying for a long time now to have a child of our own, to share Christmas with, but so far we have been unsuccessful. All I want for Christmas this year is to be pregnant. I don't want anything else. Please Santa, can you fit Life in your sleigh this year?
Give my best to Mrs. Clause and the reindeer and I hope you will visit during your travels on the 24th.
Love,
Erin
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
On to cycle 7...
I haven't been writing in the hope that I wouldn't over analyze every little twinge and temperature over the last 6 months of trying to conceive. However that's not working. I am still pouring over calendars and temp charts and wondering if that nauseous feeling i have is from overeating at the all you can eat sushi restaurant or because I am growing life. So far it has been the less exciting option every time. This month is no exception. Today I started spotting. I don't even have to use pregnancy tests, I can tell when the evil Aunt Flo is on her way well before any test would be accurate anyway.
I know it can take the average healthy couple up to 12 months to get pregnant, but I didn't think that would be us. Even accounting for the fact that D is not the average healthy male. I still didn't believe that we would ever see cycle 7.
Now I am just waiting for the physical pain of my monthly cycles to go along with my heartbreak and if one more person tells me that pregnancy will get rid of my menstrual cramps I will shoot them in the head.
I know it can take the average healthy couple up to 12 months to get pregnant, but I didn't think that would be us. Even accounting for the fact that D is not the average healthy male. I still didn't believe that we would ever see cycle 7.
Now I am just waiting for the physical pain of my monthly cycles to go along with my heartbreak and if one more person tells me that pregnancy will get rid of my menstrual cramps I will shoot them in the head.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Escape
I don't read.
Don't get me wrong, I can read... I just choose not to. I have never enjoyed it. Growing up, I was never good at it. It took me a long time to read a book, so when I did read it was always an assigned book for school, not something I was doing for pleasure.
I can still remember the first big adult novel I read as a 14yr old. I was camping with my Grandma and my cousin and just in case it rained, I took John Grisham's The Client. That was the first book I enjoyed reading, I even read it when it was sunny. After that, I would only read John Grisham novels, and it would take me months to finish one.
This habit continued until well into my university career. Actually, I had so much reading for school throughout University, that I didn't think about touching another novel until I graduated. That is, until the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out. I went to see it with my sister and my best friend. We bought tickets in advance to the theater in my hometown; it was one of the old school theaters with the little red folding seats that gradually inclined toward the back of the theater. The theater had even blocked off a section of seats for people who had bought advanced tickets with metallic Christmas garland.
We felt special.
The HP release was a big deal to my sister and I went because my mom was paying for my ticket, I hadn't seen J in years and she was going to come, and being in university I hadn't seen a new movie in forever.The movie was great, and the company was even better. It got me intrigued to find out how much different the movie was to the book. I borrowed the book from my sister and figured since it was a children's book I would be able to read it quickly and easily when I got back to my dorm. I was right, it was quick and easy, and good too! It was too quick and easy and good... I wanted to read the others in the series so I borrowed the next two from my roommate. I had them done before I went home again and then borrowed the 4th from my sister. I was hooked!
I couldn't help but think that if I'd had a series of books this good when I was growing up I might have taken an interest in reading. But then again maybe not. I mean we did have some good children's authors when I was growing up; Beverly Cleary and Grodon Korman to name a few. But there was something about Harry Potter that had me hooked - me and the rest of the world!
I didn't even recognize my self when I was the one who prompted my sister to pre-order 5th and 6th book. And I have no idea who the crazy person was who went to an event at midnight in downtown G-town where the stores all changed their name to ones from the series and stayed open late to celebrate the release of the 7th and final book, and who was super excited to know that she was only 3rd in line... who was that?? I believe I was possessed.
Since then my love for books has only grown. Every time I go home, I steal books that my family has finished reading. When I find an author who's books I like have a running character, I try to read in order them from the beginning even though the stories aren't necessarily dependent on each other. It has only been since D moved out that it has become an issue. That's when I was introduced to the Twilight Saga.
D and I went to see New Moon in theaters shortly after it came out. The theater was packed with teenie-boppers that drove me nuts. I didn't really pay that much attention to the movie because the kids behind us were talking and being really cruel to each other all through out the movie. At work the following Monday I told my co-worker that I had seen the movie, she is a HUGE fan and hadn't seen it yet. She wanted to talk all about it and compare it to the book, but I had no insights for her since I had not read it. She told me that I should, I would love it.
I borrowed Twilight from her, read it and returned it in less than a week. Then she lent me New Moon on a Thursday and I finished it on Saturday. On Sunday I decided I couldn't wait till Monday to get the next one from her so I went out and bought Eclipse for my self. I finished it Monday night and started on Breaking Dawn which I finished in a day or two. And so began my sudden and intense love affair with books.
Since then, I have re-read all four books plus the first half of the unfinished fifth book; Midnight Sun. For Christmas, my sister in-law gave me two books; Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Giffin. I have since read both of those. Yesterday went online to see if the local bookstore had the next two books in stock and decided that this affair could get expensive. Instead, I went to the local library and borrowed them. I finished half of one last night and had to force myself to put it down at 1:30am so that I could get up for work this morning.
If you total all that up, that's 4 Twilight-saga books times two, plus two more; that's 10 books in 1 month. It may not seem like a lot to some people, but for me, that's HUGE!
I don't even watch TV any more, I just come home and read. It's weird. I don't know who this person is that has taken over my body. Maybe it's just because my life is rather boring with out D at home so it feels better to delve into the life ofsomeone else for a while. I don't know. I like that it's a little more satisfying that watching something on TV, or even a movie, because I book can keep me captivated for a longer period of time which makes the time that D is away go by much faster.
I can't wait to go home...
and sit on the couch...
and read...
what's wrong with me???
Don't get me wrong, I can read... I just choose not to. I have never enjoyed it. Growing up, I was never good at it. It took me a long time to read a book, so when I did read it was always an assigned book for school, not something I was doing for pleasure.
I can still remember the first big adult novel I read as a 14yr old. I was camping with my Grandma and my cousin and just in case it rained, I took John Grisham's The Client. That was the first book I enjoyed reading, I even read it when it was sunny. After that, I would only read John Grisham novels, and it would take me months to finish one.
This habit continued until well into my university career. Actually, I had so much reading for school throughout University, that I didn't think about touching another novel until I graduated. That is, until the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out. I went to see it with my sister and my best friend. We bought tickets in advance to the theater in my hometown; it was one of the old school theaters with the little red folding seats that gradually inclined toward the back of the theater. The theater had even blocked off a section of seats for people who had bought advanced tickets with metallic Christmas garland.
We felt special.
The HP release was a big deal to my sister and I went because my mom was paying for my ticket, I hadn't seen J in years and she was going to come, and being in university I hadn't seen a new movie in forever.The movie was great, and the company was even better. It got me intrigued to find out how much different the movie was to the book. I borrowed the book from my sister and figured since it was a children's book I would be able to read it quickly and easily when I got back to my dorm. I was right, it was quick and easy, and good too! It was too quick and easy and good... I wanted to read the others in the series so I borrowed the next two from my roommate. I had them done before I went home again and then borrowed the 4th from my sister. I was hooked!
I couldn't help but think that if I'd had a series of books this good when I was growing up I might have taken an interest in reading. But then again maybe not. I mean we did have some good children's authors when I was growing up; Beverly Cleary and Grodon Korman to name a few. But there was something about Harry Potter that had me hooked - me and the rest of the world!
I didn't even recognize my self when I was the one who prompted my sister to pre-order 5th and 6th book. And I have no idea who the crazy person was who went to an event at midnight in downtown G-town where the stores all changed their name to ones from the series and stayed open late to celebrate the release of the 7th and final book, and who was super excited to know that she was only 3rd in line... who was that?? I believe I was possessed.
Since then my love for books has only grown. Every time I go home, I steal books that my family has finished reading. When I find an author who's books I like have a running character, I try to read in order them from the beginning even though the stories aren't necessarily dependent on each other. It has only been since D moved out that it has become an issue. That's when I was introduced to the Twilight Saga.
D and I went to see New Moon in theaters shortly after it came out. The theater was packed with teenie-boppers that drove me nuts. I didn't really pay that much attention to the movie because the kids behind us were talking and being really cruel to each other all through out the movie. At work the following Monday I told my co-worker that I had seen the movie, she is a HUGE fan and hadn't seen it yet. She wanted to talk all about it and compare it to the book, but I had no insights for her since I had not read it. She told me that I should, I would love it.
I borrowed Twilight from her, read it and returned it in less than a week. Then she lent me New Moon on a Thursday and I finished it on Saturday. On Sunday I decided I couldn't wait till Monday to get the next one from her so I went out and bought Eclipse for my self. I finished it Monday night and started on Breaking Dawn which I finished in a day or two. And so began my sudden and intense love affair with books.
Since then, I have re-read all four books plus the first half of the unfinished fifth book; Midnight Sun. For Christmas, my sister in-law gave me two books; Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Giffin. I have since read both of those. Yesterday went online to see if the local bookstore had the next two books in stock and decided that this affair could get expensive. Instead, I went to the local library and borrowed them. I finished half of one last night and had to force myself to put it down at 1:30am so that I could get up for work this morning.
If you total all that up, that's 4 Twilight-saga books times two, plus two more; that's 10 books in 1 month. It may not seem like a lot to some people, but for me, that's HUGE!
I don't even watch TV any more, I just come home and read. It's weird. I don't know who this person is that has taken over my body. Maybe it's just because my life is rather boring with out D at home so it feels better to delve into the life ofsomeone else for a while. I don't know. I like that it's a little more satisfying that watching something on TV, or even a movie, because I book can keep me captivated for a longer period of time which makes the time that D is away go by much faster.
I can't wait to go home...
and sit on the couch...
and read...
what's wrong with me???
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