The Protocol

I went to the clinic this morning and met with my nurse.

My nurse.

Yes I have a dedicated nurse at the clinic for my IVF cycle.  Lets call her Red. She is who I call if I have any questions about my cycle.  Of course she doesn't work 7 days/week, but there will be other nurses who would be able to answer too.  It will be nice to have a constant nurse through this process who is there looking out for me in addition to my RE.  I can call and talk to Red but I can't call and talk to the RE.

After the usual u/s and blood work, Red came in and when over how the IVF cycle works.

Starting tonight (in about 20 min) I take the Birth Control Pill (BCP) every night until September 14th. 

Three days before I finish the BCP, I also start taking a drug called Suprefact.  The purpose of the Suprefact is to ensure that my own hormones stay suppressed and won't interfere with the what the drugs are doing.  This is an injection that I have to do every morning until they tell me to stop (probably around retrieval)

Once I stop taking the BCP I will get another period. On September 20th I will add in the stimulating drugs.  There are two, both injections. (If you are keeping track, that's 3 injections per day!!!)  The first is the same drug as I've used for both of the failed IUI's and the other is a micro-dose of hCG.  The micro-dose hCG is intended to improve egg quality.

My next appointment is September 25th and at that point I should be able to start seeing growth.  I'll go back in every other day for a few times and then every day until retrieval.  Retrieval is expected to be in the first week of October.

I'm nervous and excited and scared and happy and and and.... all at the same time!

Let the craziness begin!

On Thursday last week I started spotting.  I thought for sure that AF was on her way because I usually spot a little before hand, I figured on Friday she'd be here with full force.  Well, Friday came and the spotting stopped. Saturday, nothing.  Sunday, nothing.

I started letting my mind wander...

What if that was implantation bleeding??

Is it possible that I am one of cases that suddenly gets their BFP right before starting their first IVF??

No... that can't be...

But we did have that little jaunt in the woods while on vacation...

No... stop thinking like that, it's stupid.

But M spotted for one day and got a BFP...

All weekend this went on and on in my head... what if???

Finally on Monday morning I broke down and tested. I figured two things... One, I would know and stop this crazyness in my head, and two it would bring on AF because she always shows as soon as I test.

Of course the test was negative!  I mean, really, what was I thinking?

And first thing this morning my period started!

The good news is that I am finally starting my first round of IVF.  I'm realizing now that it's been three quarters of a year since we found out that IVF would be our only/best option, so this is a long road coming.   I go to to the clinic on Thursday to get my drugs and my calendar and then I can finally, hopefully, plan the next few months of my life.

I other news, my blog was spammed yesterday!!  I wonder how they got here in the first place...

Neglect

I have been a little neglectful of this blog recently.  I can't explain why.  Yes, we have been on a break, but it's not like there hasn't been anything going on.

Anyway, let's catch up...

We had an appointment with our RE to sign out consent forms for IVF on August 14th.  The appointment went as expected.  We were brought back into one of the exam rooms and given the forms to read over.  There were a few decisions that I wasn't expecting to make... like what we agree to do with any 'leftover' embrios and what would we do if either of us die.  They were tough decisions and I'm glad we were left alone in the room to discuss them.  These are very personal ethical decisions which are the decision of D and I alone so I won't elaborate here.

Now I am just waiting for my next CD1 which should be any day now, and then I will be officially beginning my IVF cycle.  The IVF will take about 6 weeks, 8 weeks till testing, but for the first 4 I am on my own taking BCPs and suppressants.  They need to shut down my ovaries before stimulating them to ensure that all of the follicles grow at the same rate to the same size.

I've been feeling pretty crampy over the last few days but AF has yet to start, she's toying with me!  If she would wait until tomorrow, that would be perfect timing.  It would mean that my next period (yes, I will have one more before this is over) would be after Julia's wedding and my egg retrieval would be more likely to be on a weekend.  But I'm impatient, and I want to get started now!

In other news, August 23rd seems to be a pretty popular birthday.  Two of the three pregnant people around me gave birth that day.  Both little boys.  My cousin had a C-section after a long labour and gave birth to O.wen.  And a friend gave birth to her third, Ry.ker, at home (her second homebirth).  I'm glad it happened that way, get them all over with.  Quick, like ripping off a bandaid.  The next hurdle is meeting the babies for the first time, hopefully I can put that off for a bit. Maybe until after IVF...

Wishing Star

I was out for a walk with the dog just after sunset tonight and I looked up at the sky looking for a wishing star like I do every night and started thinking about this song.

Strangely enough, it hasn't made me cry like it usually does...

Come out moon
Come out wishing star
Come out
Come out
Wherever you are

I’m alone here in the dark
All alone and wide awake
Come and find me
I’m empty and I’m cold
And my heart's about to break
Come and find me

A need you to come here and find me
Cause without you I’m totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn’t done much good so far
I can only dream of you
Wherever you are

I’ll hear you laugh
I’ll see you smile
I’ll be with you just for a while
But when the morning comes
And the sun begins to rise
I’ll lose you

Because it’s just a dream
When I open up my eyes
I’ll lose you

I use to believe in forever
But forever is to good to be true
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn’t done much good so far

I don’t know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you
And wonder if you are dreaming to
Wherever you are

Wherever you are

Of course, in my head it's always Pooh singing it.