Dreams

18w1d

I had my first gender dream the other day, but it only had to do with Baby B.

You know how as you get further along in pregnancy, sometimes you can see the baby moving inside?  And sometimes you can see the outline of a foot, or you just know what body part it is that's poking out?  Well this was that to the extreme.  I could see the entire baby.  Like it was sitting on my belly rather than in it, but it was till covered with my skin and inside me.  REALLY FREAKY.  Anyway, you could see clearly that he was definitely all boy!

Later in the same dream, I was at my cottage and I gave birth to Baby B - only Baby B, not Baby A... Baby A was still safely inside me.  This was particularly worrisome because in my dream I was only around 24 weeks along and I actually gave birth in the cottage, not at a hospital...  Good news is that baby seemed fine and was sleeping upstairs when everyone woke up the next morning and they all got to see him.

I've had a feeling ever since the very first ultrasound that Baby A is a girl.  I don't know whether it's because she was smaller or what, but I have always referred to Baby A as "her".  And now with a dream that Baby B is a boy, I can't wait to find out if my instincts are correct!

Only 17 more sleeps! (but who's counting...)

Imposter

17w5d

Last week I started a prenatal yoga class.

It feels so strange being in a room with 20 other pregnant women after being so uncomfortable for so long around preggo's.  It feels like I'm in hiding, like  I don't really belong and that someone will finally clue in, call me an impostor, and ask me why I'm here.

I know I'm pregnant, I have the growing belly to prove it, but somehow I'm still infertile.

I'm infertile and I can't have babies... and yet I have two growing inside me.  It's a bit of an identity crisis.

Symptom Check

16w 0d

How the hell did I get to 4 months already???

So far I've had it pretty good symptom wise **knocks on wood**.

In the first trimester, my main complaints were of heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and nausea.  My "morning sickness" always happened in the evening around dinner time, but it never got too terrible.  A lot of twin moms describe having exaggerated morning sickness but I've been pretty lucky in that department and have only thrown up once.  I keep catching my self thinking that I was made to be pregnant, but then have to remind myself if that was the case, I would have been able to get there on my own. But I digress...

My nausea has finally subsided only to be replaced with heartburn (Tums are my new best friend).  Some nights I still feel a little off.  I seems that I either have heartburn or nausea, but not both or nothing.  I'll take it since it means I will have two little miracles in my arms by the summer.

Other symptoms have included:
round ligament pain (ouch!)
fatigue
spotting - which has stopped, thankfully, for now...
back pain
headaches
less frizzy hair - yes, I hardly have to straighten it anymore!

So far I haven't had any real food aversions or cravings.

I think I may have felt baby B a couple of times, but nothing with any consistency, and I may just have gas...

Reveals

Over the last month I have gradually come out of the pregnancy closet.  The first one started with my extended family. 

At the beginning of December we always get together for a Christmas cookie exchange and I usually bake the sugar cookies and everyone decorates their own at the exchange.   So this year I also made and decorated some for everyone to enjoy while they decorate.  I cut out some cookies in the shape of little onesies and decorated them as Dr. Suses's Thing 1 & Thing 2.  I forgot to take pictures of them so I don't have any to show you :( but they were cute!

I was a little late getting tot he exchange so it wasn't quite how I planned it.  I wanted to put the two Things on top of everyone individual pile of sugars so when they came in and had a look around, they would see them.  But by the time I got there, there was already a few people there and they were all hanging out in the kitchen.  My mom and sister tried several times to get them to leave the kitchen so I could set up, but it was no use, someone always stayed behind!  So instead, I put two cookies each on several small plates that my mom had set out for appetizers, then covered them with a napkin and brought them over to the table 2 or three plates at a time so no one would notice.  I thought I was being weird so someone would notice, but no one did.

Once we were all seated, I waited a few minutes, but no one even looked at the small covered plates so my mom finally had to tell everyone that there were a couple of cookies already decorated to enjoy now under the napkin.  Once everyone saw the cookies, it took a few minutes for it to sink in and even then, people were a little nervous to say something in case it didn't mean what they thought.  They were kinda looking between me and the cookies so I smiles and did some jazz hands before my  Aunt tentatively asked "are you trying to tell us something?"

There was many congratulations and then when my mom said something about twins, it finally clicked what the cookies meant and there was a whole other round of congrats.  Everyone knew our journey, so there were a few tears from everyone and they were so happy for us.  My cousin started slowly growing red trying not to cry before finally breaking down.  I swear you could see the line of red rising from her chest, up her neck and over her face.

There was one Aunt missing from the cookie exchange so we called her on speaker right away and told her about the cookies.  She just kept saying "awe that's cute" and then I said "oh ya, and they are in the shape of little onseies." again, "Too cute!".  Then there was a long silence while I waited for her to get it before I just jumped in and said "This is taking forever, I'm pregnant with twins!" Again there was silence before she said congratulations in a shaky cracking voice (she was obviously crying).  It was bitter sweet telling her because she herself was infertile and adopted both of my cousins.

Eventually we all got settled into decorating sugar cookies.

For D's extended family, he really had no interest in doing a grand reveal to his extended family so instead I just signed all of our Christmas cards "Love Erin, Dave, Babies M & M, and Jak".  Thankfully the cards were delivered before his big family Christmas on the 22nd.  Some of them got it, but others were confused and wondered if Jak had puppies.  We were the first to arrive that day and I was a little surprised that his Aunt started talking to him about work before saying anything.  Apparently she wanted to wait until she could confirm with his mom before sticking her foot in her mouth if she misunderstood.  Once D's mom arrived and set everyone straight there was many congratulations.

I didn't realize I had made my reveals so complicated that it took so much thought, but apparently so.  I decided to take a different approach at work.  For a few weeks I conducted a social experiment where I stopped hiding my bump and waited to see if anyone would say anything.  Only one person asked my coworker M who lied and then promptly told me of the inquiry.  No one else dared ask.  Eventually, just before New Years, I told a few people at work and then instructed them to spread the word so I wouldn't have to tell anyone.  I really don't know how some of them can still not know, it's really pretty obvious now...

The picture in the bottom right corner is from this past weekend compared to the top left corner from October.