Eat my words

My earliest recollection of the phrase "Eat Your Words" is from the movie Puff the Magic Dragon, when the scary pirate tells the little boy that he will make him eat is words. At the time, I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded like a monumental task, and pictured a giant block letter A with a bite out of it. I always wondered what, exactly, words tasted like... chicken perhaps? Everything tastes like chicken...

But now, I am forced to eat my words. They actually taste like paper. A while ago I posted that April showers do not bring May flowers. Then this happened:

What are these flowers doing out??? Don't they realize that it is still going to get cold and snow and it will kill them? I privately mourned the little flowers and their untimely suicide. At least the trees were smart, they were with me, they hadn't started blooming yet. The trees are like adults, cynical, not believing the warm weather, waiting patiently for the inevitable late April snow storm. While the flowers are like children; wearing shorts and riding bikes, out there soaking up all the early sunshine. It is not even May yet, and there will still be more showers to come, but on Tuesday morning I came out of my house to find my tree had betrayed me, and was playing in the sun with all the kids.

So I will take my cue from the trees and the children, and start my summertime fun by planting a garden in our yard. Stay tuned for more on that.

Lemonade

A text msg conversation between me and my best and dearest friend:

Julz: What's up this weekend?

Me: Not sure, will depend completely on how D is feeling

Julz: Right
Julz: How's he at the moment?

Me: So so

Julz: :(

Me: I had to change his dressing last night for the first time

Julz: Eww

Me: Ya, but I couldn't say that or he would feel too bad, so I just did it with a smile, I kinda felt like a mom

Julz: Ha true. Well you can always say ew to me babe and I will never tell him
Julz: Man you two have to deal with a lot

Me: We try to make a lot of lemonade

Julz: You really inspire me to be a more positive person. I am so lucky to have you as my bff*

Me: But sometimes we just throw the lemons at the wall


*Julz, I am so lucky that I have you to confide in!


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Bridesmaid Dresses

I went out for lunch on Thursday with a big group of people from work to a really nice little Indian restaurant in downtown. Across the street, we noticed that the local boutique clothes store was having a sale, 20% off. So after we were finished eating the men went back to the office and the women went shopping. I didn't have many expectations for this store, it originally struck me as an old lady store and it wasn't somewhere I would have gone in without a purpose. But I wanted to be sociable, so I went with the girls and thought hey, you never know what you might find... and I found a gem!

I browsed the store looking at the dresses in case there was one that would be perfect for my bridesmaids. And sure enough, there was! At the back of the store was a rack 4 green dresses and matching black ones. The green ones are the perfect colour green, and in a cut that I think is pretty much flattering on everyone. They are Mexx dresses so I thought I'd go to the Mexx store in Stone Road mall to see if they had more. They did not. Crap! I hope that the 4 dresses at the shop happen to be the right size for both of them.

Today my sister (my maid of honour) and my mom met me at the store to look at the dresses and try one on.  I was right the cut was very flattering and it fit perfectly!  Now I just hope that one will fit my bridesmaid and one of the black ones will fit my fiance's sister who is being his best man. I'm not sure when she will be able to come up and try one on, but hopefully it is sometime before the sale is over, because finding a bridesmaid dress that is under $80, I think is pretty darn good.

At the store they also have handmade local jewelery.  The women at the store told me that when they first got these dresses in they had a beautiful green crystal necklace that they paired with the dress on a mannequin, but they had sold out.  They are going to contact the jeweler and inquire about getting more made for me.

I am holding my breath right now that this will all work out...

April showers bring may flowers?

Does that include snow showers? This is what my world looked like on my way to work this morning.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

We had a big wedding-filled day planned yesterday. We were headed to the museum for the tasting with our caterer and had planned the day around that to get a lot accomplished. Unfortunately none of it happened. 

On the way there, we went to the LCBO to get our Special Occasion Permit. Because we are serving alcohol on the patio during the cocktail hour, letters need to be sent to the city, the fire department, the police and health department.  I know I need to sent these letters but I didn't know I needed to bring copies of them with the application for the SOP. So we will need to come back for that.

Then we were off to the museum for our tasting.  It was nice that it was held at the same place we are having the wedding because D had yet to see it.  It was smaller than he expected.  They had all the tables set up and dressed differently so that we could see the different linens etc. that are available.  We will be sticking with our original plan of ivory tablecloths and no chair covers to keep the costs down.

The tasting itself was lovely, a little slower paced than we would have liked. When you are at a table of people you don't know and will never see again, time seems to crawl. The highlight of the lunch was that I swear that the host of Wedding SOS was there.  But there were not any cameras and her assistant wasn't there and she didn't have her little dog with her, so maybe it wasn't her - but the the resemblance was uncanny, she even had the English accent!  At some point during the main course, D started to not feel well and before dessert was served he had to go out and sit in the car where he could recline and take some pressure off his tummy.

After the tasting we had planned to go to the best western and pick up information on the blocks we have reserved for out guests, but we forgot! Plain and simple, we forgot. Oops!

Our last objective for the day was to set up a gift registry. We decided to travel to a bigger sears than what we have here to get the most selection. D was still not feeling well but insisted on going anyway because we need to get this done (his mom is hounding for it to be done). However, we were only at the store for about 1/2 an hour when he was feeling so badly we had to leave. So, while we had a nice lunch, we didn't get anything accomplished.

Maybe next weekend...

You give me fever

I admit it.  I have baby fever.

I have felt this way since I puberty, so that tells me that it is entirely biological. Logic has always told me 'now is not a good time'. D does not have a permanent job, and the economy is such that my job is not completely stable either. Meanwhile there is this huge gaping hole in my gut that physically hurts when I see pregnant women, babies, and small children. My head and my body have had this ongoing battle for so long that my brain is starting to lose it's willpower. Luckily, D has taken up the slack.

I want a baby. 

We aren't in a good position right now, this isn't the right time.

I know - but will there ever really be a "right time"? 

With my health so up and down, this isn't the right time. 

Ya - but you have a chronic disease, your health will be up and down for the rest of your life! 

We can't afford one right now. 

I know - but...

I don't have a full time job, I could be unemployed in 6 months.

I know...

You haven't even been at your job for a year.

Ya, but ...

Do you really think it is appropriate to have a baby when things are so unsettled?

Well, no, but...

No, now is not the right time.

OK... meanie

And he usually has to talk me down of this ledge every few months. There have been many tears shed, and compromises made. The last time we had a serious discussion about it we decided that we would start to save some money and if we had a few grand saved by this spring we could think about starting to try. Then he took a contract job, at my insistence because it would be the best thing for his career and knowing full well that it would interfere with our spring plans. 

So that contract has ended, and he has been unemployed for a month. Yesterday he accepted another 6 month contract and who knows what will happen at the end of that one. Hopefully this will lead to a well-paying, full-time, permanent position. 

I am holding my breath.

I know he loves me, but I also think that he proposed so that I would have something else to think about besides having babies. And it has worked. Now when I think about wanting to get pregnant, I remind my self that I want to be able to have a drink at my own wedding. I don't want to have morning sickness and spend the reception in the bathroom bent over the toilet. And I already bought the dress!  So, for now, I will have to settle for living vicariously through other people's blogs and have faith that D will get a permanent position at the end of this contract so that we can start trying on our wedding night.  

Rain rain go away...

It's a rainy morning here in Ontario, but you know what they say - April showers bring May flowers! 

Well, not exactly...  Actually, I don't believe that for a second.  

Spring is my least favourite season. I know, I know, people are supposed to like spring. Yes, it does bring to mind Easter and baby chicks and tulips and the re-birth of everything that went dormant in the fall... and I like all of that and those thoughts do make me happy. However, along with all of that comes the seemingly never ending rain. It's always dark out, it's still cold, my hair goes frizzy and the freshly thawed ground turns to mush.

April showers bring May flowers?

I think spring and I could get along if it really only lasted a month, but around here it seems go on for more than 2 starting in April and not really ending until the middle to end of June sometime. Spring seems to have come early this year, it started warming up a couple of weeks ago. All of the snow is now gone from the ground and in its place is 5 months worth of road sand and dog poop. There are many streets that look like they don't even have grass along the road because it is completely covered in dirt and our yard is one giant toilet.  

We moved into our house at the end of last May, so we have not really experienced spring there, but I am not looking forward to the amount of mud that the dog will track into the house now that the ground had thawed and the rain started. Is there some variety of grass that will grow without sun and with all the abuse that the dog puts it through that can keep the mud outside where it belongs?

People are quick to remind me when I express my disdain for all things spring, that it's better than the snow storms. I disagree. After the rain all that's left behind is mud. Dirty dirty mud. Mud that gets all over the car, in the car, in the house, all over the dog and it's ugly, it's brown, everything is brown, the trees are still brown, the ground is brown, my white carpet turns brown. Brown, brown, brown and dirty. But after a snow storm, the world sparkles. Everything is blanketed in a clean white sheet and the trees are decorated with white ribbons and when the dog rolls around in the snow I don't have to take him home for a bath.

My dog hates having a bath.  In fact, he thinks I must be torturing him.  My scaredy-Jak is afraid of all things water.  A bath, the rain, the lake, it doesn't matter, it is scary.  This morning when I let him out to do his business, I opened the door, he stuck his nose out and took a step back.  Do you really think that I am going to go out there and get wet?  What are you, crazy?!? I'm not going out there!* Eventually he will go outside, but if he could cross his legs for the next 2 months, I know he would to avoid the rain.

As I finish this post the sun is peeking through the rain clouds and I finally see it.  I see the silver lining. The hope that comes along with all this muckyness. Summer is coming, it's right around the corner.  I just wish it would hurry up already!

*now that I have started this blog, I am going to have to start to take more pictures of him and his "you have got to be kidding me lady" expressions.