Birth Control

Birth control and I have a long and sordid history.

I first started taking it when I was 16. I still remember writing to Jules and asking her what she thought of the idea. I believe it was her who reminded me that I could go to the Dr. and ask for it and he wouldn't be able to tell my mom. I took her advice and went to my Dr. He gave me 3 months worth of free samples and encouraged me to talk to my mom.

After a few months on the pill I lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart. With my next period I had the most painful cramps I'd ever experienced. I thought I was dying. My mom took me to the hospital and of course the ER doc had to ask all of those standard questions...

"Are you on any medications?"

Me in a whisper "the pill"

Oh did I mention my mom was still in the room with me? Because yes she was.

"Are you sexually active?"

Me in a whisper "yes"

And right there I died of embarrassment!

The good news was that my mom could not be mad because how can you be mad when your daughter is lying in pain in the emergency room?

It turned out to be a cyst that ruptured on my right ovary. I still wonder to this day if it was the trauma of that day that caused the damage and blockage of my right tube. Anyway, for the next few years the pill and I got along just fine. I went to university and in my second year I started to notice a change in my moods. I broke up with my previously mentioned high school boyfriend and started on some antidepressants. I did a little research and found that one of the common side effects of the pill is depression. Since I no longer had a boyfriend I figured I could experiment a little and go off the pill and see if that helped with the depression. It defiantly did. I was able to go off all other medication cometely and felt more like myself than I had in years.

Over the next few years I went back on the pill a couple of times while I was dating someone but hated every minute of it. When I started seeing D, he was terrified of the fact that I wasn't on any birth control. I agreed to go on it but warned him of the massive mood changes that were to come. He agreed that if they were really that bad he would find a way to be ok with out me taking it. I was only on it for 1 month before he came over to find me crying in bed because my boss was mean. Granted, my boss at the time was a class A jerk face but this was an extreme reaction. I stopped taking the pill and both D and I have been happier ever since.

That is until this business with infertility.

Who would have thought that part of the treatment for infertility would involve taking birth control pills! I mean, every one knows the firsts step in trying to get pregnant is to go off the pill. I have now been taking the pill as part of my protocol for IVF for the past 16 days. I have definitely noticed a change. I was really scared of this part, but it hasn't been as bad as I feared. Yes, I've been crying at stupid things on tv. And maybe I over reacted about the comment from my chiropractor... But I was afraid that I would be inconsolable when ever I thought too much about our situation. I wasn't and for that I'm happy.

I am ecstatic to say that tonight was my last BCP!

I'm so happy to finally be done with it! I'm also hoping that this heartburn I've had for the last week will finally go away now...